When Your Aging Parents Ask to go Home

The question of “When do I get to go home” might be one of the hardest questions you will ever get asked by your parent(s). It’s the type of question that literally punches you in the stomach and takes your breath away just hearing those words. Why? Because you know they aren’t ever going back home and having to verbally tell a parent that is just outright awful.

Nothing prepares you for being a parent to your parents and answering such a question, especially after you’ve gone through the process of making the move to a senior or assisted living place or even a skilled nursing facility. Maybe you had to lure them there under a false pretense that one day they could go back home if they got better. Or maybe you just said, “let’s do a trial run and see how you like it?” The actual move is painful enough, but getting the question of how long do I have to stay or when can I go home might take the cake.

But what if you got this question from your spouse? What if you are moving your forever hubby or wifey to a facility based on the needs of their health? How do you respond and what do you say? And how do you yourself swallow your tears and hold your chin up and put on a happy face, only to answer them honestly that this is their new home and they aren’t ever leaving.

There no easy way of handling this question and I certainly do not have the right answers. I don’t even know what health care providers would want you to say. My gut says be honest, be patient and be loving. And like I’ve shared before, somehow try to find the “joy” in that next step and somehow embrace the next chapter. Aging parents is a journey. It has multiple layers, multiple next steps and complicated decisions. Don’t beat yourself up if you make a wrong decision along the way and if you have to change the course along the way. We all do.