7 Tips on How to Help Your Aging Parents

So, it’s time. Your parents are aging and can no longer handle all that comes with tending to their own health and everyday living. Here are 7 tips on how to help your aging parents.

1. First, have patience. Coming to terms with needing help is hard for seniors so there will of course be times you want to pull your hair out and that’s ok. You’ll need a lot of patience to maneuver through the next chapter.

2. Build your village. You need support and people to help you get through this journey. Whether it’s a sibling(s) or an extended family member, you can’t take this burden on alone. If you’re like me, you have a family of your own, maybe kids and maybe even a full time job. Whatever it is, I’m sure your plate is full. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

3. Keep an open mind. You will get so many opinions during situations where a decision needs to be made and my advice to you is to take them all in, then make a decision based on what works best for you and your family. I would also encourage following your gut. You know your parents more than anyone so don’t shy away from following through with something you know would be their preference, even if it goes against a suggestion from someone else.

4. Take care of YOU! I can’t repeat this enough, take care of you! You can’t ignore your own wellness to tend to your parents. If you do, you’ll regret it down the road. Take a “me” day, don’t respond to the text right away or call them back after you finish that glass of wine with your bestie! It’s ok to not be available 24/7.

5. Don’t be afraid to say No! This is a word you might not have used previously with your parents, but get used to saying the following (politely of course):

• Today doesn’t suit, but we can work on finding a time that works best for everyone.
• No, I’m busy on Saturday but would love to find a time we can make that happen.
• No, I don’ think we can do that right now, but we will work on when we can.
• No, I don’t think we are going to be able to do that as it’s not in your budget. However, we are able to do …

6. Stay positive. I will warn you, “Negative Nelly” will want to enter the picture almost daily when taking care of your parents, but don’t go down that path. Somehow try to be positive. It’s so easy to play “victim” during this chapter, but let’s face it, all kids one day have the job of role reversal with their parents. All kids have to eventually move their parents from their childhood home, have an estate sale, hire an attorney to assist with a Will, blah blah blah. There are so many things children end up doing for their aging parents I can’t begin to list them all.

7. Set boundaries. This last tip is so important to your overall well being during this time. If you don’t set them early in the game, you’ll waste a lot of time back peddling and trying to negotiate your own peace of mind. As I shared in tip #4, establishing some “me time” helps with ground rules with your parents is HUGE.

So, have you followed my theme throughout this entire post that the best way to help your aging parents is to make sure YOU are in a good place? If you are putting them first before your own life, your own life will eventually suffer. I’m not saying don’t help, I’m just saying make sure you don’t skip church, keep your own family in tact, don’t ignore your spouse, keep your performance up at work, don’t miss out on time with your friends and go to the gym. If you are taking care of you, taking care of them will be much easier. Take it from someone who learned the hard way.